Befriending dragons

It was either this, or finding the adjectives to describe what a time-warped day feels like, unbelievably draining. Exhausting is how I've come to refer to it, as I search heart and soul for that opening, I can never seem to pinpoint it. I only know it's there, and that the rigorous journey aimed toward it is worth it. It had better be.

Never before have I struggled so hard just to see. While at other times, my vision's surprisingly exact, so precise it's amazing. It's moments like these where I just have to have patience until reliance returns...reliance on what, you may ask? Or maybe you wouldn't if the day's feeling unsettling or silent. Or brooding.

It's a peaceful recognition that we can't always control our circumstance. Yet a keen eye will notice that even that's part of some divine plan's doing. Maybe one person wonders how on earth they became a real live marionette, or has yet to understand through lack of being a parent, that there's nothing more sustainable and important in life, than good leadership. Well, at least on this planet.

Even the celebrity, and I was starting to question that. I mean seriously, a three million dollar gown on some carpet helps exactly who? And the souls they infect with this wanting, this mysteriously born ailment of "I want to be you". To imagine life without it, in that moment, it felt so socialistic. It's what came to mind, the necessity of art, of larger-than-life dreaming, what all those icons keep meaning.

It's a healthy track our current society's on, of exposing the voices behind all that preening. Rachel Zoe herself cleared up so much, and Jennifer Garner with her "no, she must have plum" exposing. Hate to be all gluttonous about what our culture's viewing, but those VMAs were some of the best "artists unite" I've seen brewing.

Everyone should be proud to be so clear in their uniting. If only Britain's best band's first American showing had beat out Kanye's quest. The upscale mission, it's mind-blowing.

Yawn.

If I'd known stress would be this interesting I'd have married it a long time ago. Predictable mornings are one thing (love my 6am wake up calls), but three hours of afterschool homework EVERY DAY... how I do it with a smile, I'll never know.

It's no exaggeration to say I haven't had a bad day in about five years. Made that choice for myself, and stuck to it like always. But kinks in my step are sometimes just what I need to focus on, doesn't suit everyone. Oh well for losers.

Hmm, now what, now where, now how.

Star of the Playground

I make many, many friends very, very easily. Were you to camp out across from the school, in that dingy little apartment complex nobody should live in, and spy on my boldness, you'd love me. Then you'd see with your very own eyes what a whirlwind romance I take life to be, yes all of it.

Just thought you should know.

Can't even choose

All my blog colors simply don't satisfy these days, that's finally new. Not that I'll change them, in this listening/waiting meantime, they'll just have to do. There's something to be said for letting the colors be what they are, even if they refuse to match my mood. I'll adjust.

Only talking colors though, and wouldn't that be nice? If the reflections on the surface matched everything underneath, and made it true. When life is whole like that, it's called plain honest. The colors will change if/when they want to, but inevitably, as is nature, only some tend to.

And the gentle landing we all adore

Hello, favorite blog in self-chosen colors. Not a rainbow on earth that could please me, I've seen all the wonders. A day at a time though, got these children to raise. Like little porcupines, you should see 'em, aw, the realm of impossibility, God love it!

So everyday, might as well just say it, I'm up before nine. 6 o'clock central time if you can actually believe it, and unlike most parents, that pleasure's all mine. Only so many perfect moments to make in a well-loved child's lifetime.

Lots of examples to set, you know, for the parents. The medication being passed around in the office, the zombie-like children, but good teachers (I mean that), lots of work I'm cut out for. Just today, convinced a kindergartner to invite her parents to lunch.

Told her I need more grown up friends, and I think that impressed her. Her Daddy's too busy working around the house, she said. But Daddies love to make time, especially when asked by a smiling little girl! And, an idea was born.

Getting reacquainted

Oh boy, when you're in the system, you're in. Defines my life quite well thank you, orders my day, and what's this...free time? Like practically endless free time day after day, to spend however I endlessly feel driven or led? And you know me and my lack of free will, fully dependent on destiny for everything. Love that feeling!

Could you believe the only thing missing besides a tad more noise from happy, healthy children (library's quiet) is a hot Starbucks nearby. Not that I'd complain anyway, I'm no Kim Kardashian who never gets her needs met. Imagining her clothing bills alone makes me nauseous, plus the flowers she'd demand. Endless supplies of all the goods the working class must offer, for practically nothing.

Why compare apples to oranges anyway, some people might try, not sure why. Don't get me started though, on perfect starlets or even homeschooling, you. Everything's exactly how I love it, all aligned and perfect, one day at a time.

Scientology

Funny the new habits I breed, based on this new participation in venture outward instead of in. Myself included. What, I always has to mean me? In which paradigm. Totally got you with that one, didn't me? Yup, totally.

No clue what I'm talking about even, mastered a whole new realm of just being. Yet to be released into public consumption, only the cowardly elite get first glance. And what elitist would ever admit to being cowardly, just I.

Shakin' in my boots even, but let me tell you why. Not sure I can even explain it, but I'll try. I always tend to, don't I? Except when I get lost in rhyme, and then I befriend the tangents, all mine.