An attempt, different than a try

More likely I'll just blog about all the repentance penetrating every thought in my soul. How fast this is happening, new worldview yet integrate the old. It's phenomenal, loving it!

Summer vacation is all that I'd hoped, spent much of today under the sunshine and low cloudbanks floating past. Dads and moms and dads and...such an interesting mix of our town's ethnicities. The heat felt so good.

Afternoon brought tuna fish for one, grilled dogs for two, left over pizza for numero three...and fresh-made chicken/pasta salad filled with veggies for me. Perfect day shall we say? Um, okay.

I miss you blog

This is my space to address the cosmos and its unfair grace. Building me stronger than I even know myself to be, that's something new and challenging, and I hate it to its face. Chose that rhyme exclusively.

I love all my backgrounds, my freedom to muse, that can't POSSIBLY change. Or it wouldn't. To expose myself to myself in private is still a right of mine on Earth. I cannot be dishonest with myself, my thoughts belong here. I'm a friend of my muse.

It's just a DOG!

Just another week

Just grieving Cooper, immensely. Hate when my feelings get all blocked up inside...and, I miss my homeschool friends, and finer weather. Musing aimlessly for a moment, but still musing.

A week spent filling back up, thanking God for all the blessings in my life, and celebrating the gifts of the future. Of which there are many, many, many.

It's a family name

My dad's name is James. We gave Taylor a version of it, Jamison...well, that was borrowed from Belushi, so thanks. My oldest daughter is Lauren Jessica, I know, vain. And then we have Christopher, and Aubrey, and Kenna sprinkled in there to carry more meaningfulness forward.

So I guess, I am traditional. I'm an Anne, a perfected version of the Ann I would've inherited otherwise. Makes everything more solid I guess, when moving forward with meaningfulness attached.

It's just Monday

And no, having five kids makes a woman no more likely to predict her own labor than her actual doctor. I always tend to misinterpret that getting-so-uncomfortable stage, and it's only going to get worse from here on out, with labor. Ten days to two weeks still, he said.

Guess the theme will be catharsis then. I've never been so efficient a crier though, it's like 15 to 20 seconds and no more, then refreshed. It's kind of awesome actually. Like, two days ago I was imagining the delivery and was washed over with the strangest image of myself begging God for my child's life.

Very painful for the heart muscle, and supporting ligaments...but it just poured out in one quick dose, then pure relief. And last night, don't remember which part of "I can't handle this, absolutely sure of that..." I was tempting close. But my favorite theologian literally turned away from his Bible reading, and faced me with the key words I've been holding on to since the healing room.

"God is sufficient," he reminded me. And He is.